never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
