We're facebook friends in real life
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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