Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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