Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize