if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
