I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
