I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The Olympian is in my bed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize