my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
