You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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