wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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