i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
