Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i think i just lost a toe
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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