I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
