did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
