I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
