I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
