I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
