I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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