Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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