No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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