butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
