I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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