you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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