Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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