Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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