He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
