Sponge bath it is.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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