He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
