I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
