Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
