i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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