I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
