butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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