Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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