Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
