He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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