She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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