So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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