we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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