He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
