i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
