it's not cheating when I paid for it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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