so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
