Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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