Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize