i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
