She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
