I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
