grandma shit on top of the toilet
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
