Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
