Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize