Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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