I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
