So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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