I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
