after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
