I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
