If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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