Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
