Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
