Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
