He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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