We're like a lot better than the average bears
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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