What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
