I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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