after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize