I'm going to jail i love you
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize