if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize