So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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