I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
