I wish I could punch you in the face.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
