Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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